when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
and you said cock pushups were impossible
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
