Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
