Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
God I need to hump something, right now.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
