Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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