We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
