i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
