conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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