i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
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