Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
