it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
