i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
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