Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
