thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
