Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
