I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
