i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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