Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
