Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
