They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
