haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Randomize
