maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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