that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Randomize
