He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Dicks are not precious.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize