haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Randomize
