Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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