Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
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he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
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can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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