KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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