babies were throwing up all over the place
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Randomize
