didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
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