it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
