I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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