there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
