I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
