Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Tornado booty call.. dedication
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
