So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize