You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I think I sprained my soul last night
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Let's get the cat blown out
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
