he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
