I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
