You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
