Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I've blown a few things in my day
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
You pole danced in your parka.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
