we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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