I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
