What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
