Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
