oh god the rape fog is back!
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
