I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
