I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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