Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(860): View more from Connecticut

Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?

(215): View more from Pennsylvania

she has a santa fetish

(267): View more from Pennsylvania

cute.

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(613): View more from Ontario

Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom

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(612): View more from Minnesota

She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.

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(201): View more from New Jersey

I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?

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(518): View more from New York

My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.

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(251): View more from Alabama

Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.

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(404): View more from Georgia

A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.

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