dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
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