Dual....:-)
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
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