I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize