There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
