Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
