Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
