just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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