Christians are straight up FREAKS
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Randomize
