Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
smell my finger.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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