If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
