You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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