so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
