glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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