Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
