I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Randomize
